Episode 100: Why They Don’t Reach Out When They Need Help

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Your adult child is estranged right now, and you understand that they need space.

But then you hear that she or he is having some trouble. Maybe it’s financial. Or maybe he needs a place to stay, or she needs help with transportation, references, etc.

Why on earth don’t your adult children reach out to you for help? Surely the estrangement can be put aside, at least until the crisis is over?

But it doesn’t always happen.

Are estranged adult children just trying to keep up a façade? Does it hurt their egos for parents to know they’re struggling?

Tina suggests in this episode that although keeping up a façade is a logical possibility, there are at least 3 other reasons why estranged adult children might not reach out to parents for help.

A fourth, obvious reason that isn’t addressed in the episode is this:

4) They may be able to handle things without help.

Even if parents are not convinced, adult children must assess their own personal situations. Trust them to make good decisions, or else to learn from their mistakes.

For many more practical tips on how to repair an estranged relationship with your adult child(ren), see Tina’s book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

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