Episode 103: “What should I apologize for?”

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Smart parents who wish to make repairs with estranged adult children are interested in apologies.

However, saying “I’m sorry” is not always necessary. Some estranged children report they don’t require an apology; they just want more space. Or they want the parent to make or allow certain changes in the relationship.

But since many estranged adult children do appreciate thoughtful apologies from parents, it behooves rejected parents to pay attention to this simple gift, and how to craft it.

If you don’t know what to apologize for, it may be that no apology is needed. But if you sense that an apology would be healing, then there’s work to do.

Knowing what to apologize for is the result of effort; you have to try to understand what happened in the relationship and why your child currently prefers distance.

Tina suggests in this episode that if you don’t know what to apologize for, it’s probably too early for an apology.

Since premature apologies can do more harm than good, Tina outlines steps you can take to acquire the knowledge you need.

For many more practical tips on how to repair an estranged relationship with your adult child(ren) and yourself, see Tina’s book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

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Episode Links:

Course: A Good Apology (Preview)

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