Parents of estranged adult children often carry unhealed emotional wounds from long ago. The pain of those wounds can be reactivated when adult children become estranged, especially if original injuries involved separation, loss, rejection or abandonment.
For those parents, the injury of unwanted estrangement brings back the pain of old trauma (with or without a capital T) that never had the chance to resolve. Now they must at least cope with the fallout, if not resume the healing, of those earlier hurts.
In this episode, Tina outlines five differences between the process of healing and the practice of coping. And while both coping and healing are necessary and important, she urges listeners not to mistake good coping skills for the permanent gains of actual healing.
If you’re aware of deep feelings of emptiness, sadness, or anger, and you sense they were there even before your adult child’s estrangement, consider working with a local counselor or therapist. Here are a few directories where you can search for a licensed mental health professional by zip or postal code:
https://traumatherapistnetwork.com/
https://www.psychologytoday.com
https://www.goodtherapy.org/
For ideas on how to repair your parent-adult child relationship, read Tina’s book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.
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EPISODE LINKS:
Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings By Letting Yourself Have Them
Reconnection Club Podcast Episodes 125 and 126: The GOOD Parent’s Biggest Blind Spot
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