You feel it when your estranged (or formerly estranged) adult child is in the room. The conversation is surface-level. You second-guess everything. You remind yourself, “I have to be careful.”
“Walking on eggshells” is a common experience for parents of estranged adult children, especially during the reconciliation phase of estrangement. Parents might not know exactly why their child became distant, but they want to keep it from happening again.
Some parents feel afraid of making their child angry. They desperately want to avoid conflict, even while wishing for more closeness. They’re caught between fear and longing.
Almost all parents feel awkward after estrangement, as they embrace different skills and behaviors for the first time. The journey from “conscious incompetence” to “conscious competence” and beyond, can be long.
Ongoing tension can be expected after estrangement, in the context of your personal history. And there may be no getting around that walking-on-eggshells feeling for a while. But parents who can recognize, understand, and tolerate it might have an easier time.
For evidence-based information and tools to repair your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), read Tina’s book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.
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EPISODE LINKS:
Reconnection Club Podcast Ep. 132: Self-Care for Parents of Estranged Adult Children
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