Episode 22: Stages of Estrangement

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Not every parent estranged from their adult child (or children) is in exactly the same place, emotionally or spiritually, during the estrangement.

From observation, Tina hypothesizes that parents go through five predictable stages. And just like the stages of grief observed by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, not everyone goes through all of them, and the stages don’t necessarily follow a particular order.

In this episode Tina describes the five stages of estrangement and the tasks inherent in each one.

Parents who accomplish the stage-dependent tasks can progress to a better state of mind and develop reconnection skills along the way.

While Tina often refers to reconciliation as “the reconciliation phase of estrangement,” reconciliation per se isn’t one of the five stages. Like the stages of grief, the stages of estrangement are psycho-spiritual, not logistical.

Thus, while you may be in a reconciliation phase in your relationship with your child, you’ll also be in one of the five stages of estrangement described in this episode.

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