Episode 78: Why Indulge an Estranged Adult Child?

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In addition to feeling the pain of loss of connection with an estranged adult child, you may also be aware of feelings of resentment.

Particularly if you’ve spent any time in the Reconnection Club universe, you might resent the idea of having to “indulge” your adult child. Her estrangement might seem so cruel, selfish, and unnecessary. Why would a parent want to indulge such behavior? Especially when it’s so hurtful?

Although parents’ feelings are understandable in the face of their pain, and the unfair weight of responsibility to fix what’s broken, it’s unfortunately not helpful for reconnection.

Taking the position of refusing to indulge unwanted behavior can easily get in the way of progress.

Parents interested in making repairs need to be able to manage their feelings. They must decide to bring respect to the table, rather than a grudging indulgence, if they genuinely want to reconnect.

If this evokes negative feelings in you, this episode is for you.

The article Tina mentions in this episode is here: How to Validate Someone

For much more on how to repair an estranged relationship with your adult child(ren), see Tina’s book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

Reconnection Club members can discuss this episode in the General Discussion forum inside the Reconnection Club.

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