Episode 95: The Deep Pain of the Rejected Parent

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This week’s episode begins with an assertion that neither pain nor compassion is a zero-sum commodity.

Estranged adult child are in some ways wounded by the relationship they share with their parents. That’s what the research tells us. Most people who estrange themselves from parents are in pain over having to do so.

Acknowledging that fact, we can still find compassion for the rejected parent who finds himself left behind. It’s usually the case that he did the best he knew how to do, and didn’t mean to hurt his child(ren).

And yet there was hurt.

It’s not either you did your best as a parent, or your child got hurt. Both can be true at the same time.

The take-home point of Tina’s introduction to this episode is, estrangement almost always involves pain on both sides.

Tina goes on to speak about three separate and distinct types of parental pain, which she suggests exist at deeper and deeper levels in the parent.

If you’re hurting over the relationship with your adult child or children, this episode is a must-listen. Click on the player below to listen now.

For practical tips on how to repair an estranged relationship with your adult child(ren) while attending to your own emotional healing, see Tina’s book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child.

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