Blog Posts

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Basics

Why “Teaching Someone a Lesson” Doesn’t Work

It’s so human to want to teach someone a lesson when they’re behaving badly. Maybe because of the fundamental attribution error (we attribute other people’s behavior to temperament, ours to circumstances), we tend to focus on correcting poor behavior in other people. We aren’t quite as ardent when it comes to scrutinizing ourselves. I think

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How long does estrangement last?
Basics

The Readiness Factor

In every relationship, there’s always the possibility that one of you is ready to take a new step when the other is not. As a parent unwillingly estranged from one or more of your adult children, you can do everything right, say all the right things, and still not get to reconciliation if the timing

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Coping

How to Make the Best of a Bad Situation

Hey folks, I just wanted to let you know about my latest post over on PsychologyToday.com. You know as well as anyone what it’s like to live with a situation you don’t want. And while estrangement has special challenges that make it ultra-painful, you might be interested in some general tips for making the best

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Free Online Summit on Family Estrangement

Tons of valuable support and information will be freely available to estranged parents next week, thanks to the efforts of Yasmin Kerkez. Yasmin gathered together 15 experts on family estrangement, family struggles, healthy relationships and healing. The result is a 3-day online summit called Moving Beyond Family Struggles. All the interviews, including one that I

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Basics

Handling Complaints from Your Estranged Adult Child

If you manage to open communication with your estranged adult child, you’ll need to be prepared for the crucial task of receiving complaints. Unless you have a conscious plan for your response, the rift could easily widen. Because the way parents handle complaints makes the estrangement either better or worse. Here’s what you need to

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Anxiety

Feeling Insecure in Relationships

I don’t always share my relationship-themed PsychologyToday.com posts with estranged parents. Often they’re just not relevant to this audience. But today’s post struck me as being maybe a little bit more interesting, at least to some parents. Several Reconnection Club members have been talking in our forums about relationships in general.  They’re sharing that they

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Basics

Podcast Interview Re: Estrangement

I recently had the pleasure of speaking with Las Vegas-based therapist Lourdes Viado. Lourdes hosts a podcast called “Women in Depth,” and she invited me to do an interview about my book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child. Lourdes is a thoughtful interviewer. In this conversation, she highlighted some of the most important aspects of

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Causes of estrangement

What If Your Estranged Adult Child Just Doesn’t Like You?

Over the years, I’ve heard more than one parent express the concern that their estranged adult child doesn’t have reason to reconcile, because they don’t even like the parent in the first place. Recently, one of our Reconnection Club members posed this question in our forums: If your estranged adult child doesn’t like you, is

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Free Help Locating Relatives

You may be familiar with Tom Martin, P.I., from our recent interview about locating your estranged adult child. (Reconnection Club members can click here to read the transcript.) If so, you already know that as a private investigator, Tom has a website you can use to try to find an adult child, or any missing relative,

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