What If Your Estranged Adult Child Just Doesn’t Like You?

Over the years, I’ve heard more than one parent express the concern that their estranged adult child doesn’t have reason to reconcile, because they don’t even like the parent in the first place. Recently, one of our Reconnection Club members posed this question in our forums: If your estranged adult child doesn’t like you, is …

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Was Your Estranged Adult Child Adopted?

Adoption adds complexity to parent-adult child estrangement One of the most important tasks for parents estranged from adult children is to understand their children’s reasons for creating distance. Until parents can put themselves in their children’s shoes and see things as they do, it’s almost impossible for them to make the repairs that are usually …

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Help! My Husband’s Adult Children Don’t Talk to Him

Your husband’s adult child or children aren’t talking to him, and he’s obviously in pain about it. Maybe it’s been years since they last saw each other. Your heart aches for your spouse. The months keep rolling by, and nothing changes. He doesn’t know what to do… So you went online and found this article, …

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Is Your Estranged Child on a Power Trip?

Our next podcast episode will look more closely at the behavior of estranged adult children to determine whether they’re getting some sort of thrill out of pulling you this way and that. In the meantime, I’ve written an article over on PsychologyToday.com about an alternative interpretation of power-hungry-seeming behavior in general. When it comes to …

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These 4 Things Affect How Long You’ll Be Estranged

How long does estrangement last?

I’m often asked how long estrangement between parents and their adult children typically lasts. Although there’s a wide range of answers from a few research studies, there’s nothing that can tell you how long you and your child(ren) will be separated. The one thing we’re pretty sure of, I’m pleased to tell you, is that …

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Partial Estrangement: Are You Betraying Your Spouse by Talking to Your Child?

estrangement from only one parent

“I want to have a relationship with my son, but his father thinks we should present a united front.” This is a common dilemma for parents caught in the middle in partial-estrangement situations. Partial estrangement – that is, cutoff from one parent but not the other – leaves both the targeted parent and the favored …

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Is Your Estranged Adult Child a Narcissist?

“Narcissist.” It’s a loaded word, tossed back and forth between estranged adult children and their parents. Adult children cite parental narcissism as the reason for necessary cut-off. Rejected parents on the other hand wonder if narcissism is keeping their child from taking perspective, or caring about the wounds they’re inflicting. This latter assumption is the …

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Are You Creating a Monster By Listening to Your Child?

Parents estranged from adult children get plenty of advice from friends and relatives. And that advice tends to come in just two colors: Black and white. It’s usually pretty harsh. “Kick him to the curb.” “Cut off her tuition money, then see how long it takes her to pick up the phone.” “You’re creating a …

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No Contact Means No Contact

Reach out at your own risk

Most estrangements I hear about are not symmetrical. The adult child maintains silence, either partial or total, while the parent reaches out regularly, trying to keep some connection alive. It’s very one-sided. I often hear, especially from parents of 20-somethings who’ve disappeared on them, “But it’s been a year. How long can this continue?” It …

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