Breathing Matters

Breathing is part of the language of coping with difficult circumstances. We tell ourselves, and each other, “Remember to breathe.” (Don’t hold your breath.) “Breathe though it.” (Tolerate the pain.) “Breathe into it.” (What we resist, persists.) “Just breathe.” (Be here now.) Those are not platitudes. They remind us of the useful tool we always …

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Estrangement and Broken-Heart Syndrome

As if being estranged from your adult child(ren) weren’t bad enough, the stress of the emotional pain it causes could actually affect your heart. Known by various names, including Takotsubo Syndrome and stress cardiomypathy, Broken-Heart Syndrome is brought on mainly by emotional or physical stressors. Extreme emotions, such as those that may accompany an unwanted …

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Emotions of Estrangement

Do you prefer listening to reading? There’s an episode of the Reconnection Club Podcast on this same topic. Listen now: Ep 139: Emotions of Estrangement  *   *   * When you first realize you’ve become estranged from your adult child(ren), you may be shocked. Also confused, afraid, and maybe a little bit panicked. Some parents who’ve …

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The Escalation Trap

Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to an audio treatment of this article in the form of RC Podcast Episode 123: The Escalation Trap.  *   *   * If your estranged adult child or children requested no contact, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised if they suddenly contact you. And if you’re like other parents you …

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Make a Detailed Plan to Get Through Special Days

I’ve suggested elsewhere that every estranged parent should have a detailed plan on their special day, whether it be Mothers or Fathers Day, your birthday, the holidays, or any day when you wonder if an estranged adult child will reach out. With a special day coming up, I’ve heard parents say things like, “I’m having …

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The Good Parent’s Biggest Blind Spot

Do you prefer listening to reading? RC Podcast Episodes 125 and 126 provide an audio treatment of this topic.  *   *   * You were a conscientious parent. When your child(ren) came into your life, you wanted to be the best parent you could possibly be. You told yourself, “I will never…” or “I will always…” …

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How to Get Estrangement Help Without Spending Money

More and more resources are popping up these days, offering support for people suffering from family estrangement. This is certainly a good thing; my great-grandparents had no help at all in repairing their relationship with their daughter, my grandmother — and so tragically, they never did. My mom grew up without knowing her grandparents. I …

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The Biology of Connection

When I started the Reconnection Club Podcast back in 2019, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I hoped the brief weekly episodes would provide rejected parents with useful information and inspiration for reconnecting with their estranged adult children. I didn’t anticipate that listeners would find it calming or soothing. But from the feedback I’ve received, …

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What to Do, When You Don’t Know What to Do

If you’ve been estranged from your adult child(ren) for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what to do next. As a parent, your heart is breaking. And your brain is constantly picking at the problem in the background (when it’s not doing that in the foreground). Whenever there’s …

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Knowing vs. Doing

Do you prefer listening to reading? You can hear an audio version of this topic here: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 110: Knowing vs.  Doing Otherwise, scroll down to read the article now.  *   *   * We’ve all been there. We know that something bad will happen between ourselves and another person if we say or …

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What Are You Working On?

Many Reconnection Club members are working on letters of apology to their estranged adult children. They’ve decided that an apology is appropriate, but in thinking about it, they bump into the fact that it’s not always easy to find exactly the right words. That’s why some of our members post draft apologies in our forums. …

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