At the beginning of every new year, there’s a load of messages out there about making a new start. But not everyone has the energy to do that in January. For parents of estranged adult children, the past few months have likely been stressful. Worrying about what to do about the holidays, and whether and …
How would you feel if your estranged adult child came back into your life today, with a kind and open heart? What if you could hold a beloved grandchild, or take part in a family gathering, surrounded by smiles? You might immediately answer, “Well, that’s what I want, obviously.” But that wasn’t the question. The …
Do you prefer listening to reading? We some audio for you, based on this article. Check out Reconnection Club Podcast #132: Self-Care for Parents of Estranged Adult Children. * * * Autumn is my favorite time of year. Maybe it’s my Scandinavian heritage, but I tend to wilt in the heat and spend most summers …
Do you prefer listening to reading? For an audio treatment of this article, listen to Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 129: 7 Ways Parents Waste Time During Estrangement. * * * If your adult child is currently estranged, how you spend your time and attention right now matters. In fact, how you spend your time today, …
When it comes to repairing your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), as a parent it’s important to understand one thing: You are the bedrock, the foundation and the base for that relationship. If an earthquake left your house hanging halfway off a cliff, what would you do first — shore it up from below, …
Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to an audio treatment of this article in the form of RC Podcast Episode 123: The Escalation Trap. * * * If your estranged adult child or children requested no contact, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised if they suddenly contact you. And if you’re like other parents you …
I’ve suggested elsewhere that every estranged parent should have a detailed plan on their special day, whether it be Mothers or Fathers Day, your birthday, the holidays, or any day when you wonder if an estranged adult child will reach out. With a special day coming up, I’ve heard parents say things like, “I’m having …
Do you prefer listening to reading? RC Podcast Episodes 125 and 126 provide an audio treatment of this topic. * * * You were a conscientious parent. When your child(ren) came into your life, you wanted to be the best parent you could possibly be. You told yourself, “I will never…” or “I will always…” …
More and more resources are popping up these days, offering support for people suffering from family estrangement. This is certainly a good thing; my great-grandparents had no help at all in repairing their relationship with their daughter, my grandmother — and so tragically, they never did. My mom grew up without knowing her grandparents. I …
Now that the holiday season is here, parents are wondering whether to issue invitations to estranged adult children. In many cases, the simple answer is No. Don’t invite them home for the holidays. Allowing your adult child to make his own plans, and to take the initiative to reach out to you if he wants …
When I started the Reconnection Club Podcast back in 2019, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I hoped the brief weekly episodes would provide rejected parents with useful information and inspiration for reconnecting with their estranged adult children. I didn’t anticipate that listeners would find it calming or soothing. But from the feedback I’ve received, …
If you’ve been estranged from your adult child(ren) for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what to do next. As a parent, your heart is breaking. And your brain is constantly picking at the problem in the background (when it’s not doing that in the foreground). Whenever there’s …
Do you prefer listening to reading? You can hear an audio version of this topic here: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 110: Knowing vs. Doing Otherwise, scroll down to read the article now. * * * We’ve all been there. We know that something bad will happen between ourselves and another person if we say or …
Many Reconnection Club members are working on letters of apology to their estranged adult children. They’ve decided that an apology is appropriate, but in thinking about it, they bump into the fact that it’s not always easy to find exactly the right words. That’s why some of our members post draft apologies in our forums. …
In last month’s newsletter, I urged you not to be in a rush to apologize to your estranged adult child. This month’s topic builds on that idea, and provides a simple yet powerful blueprint for rejected parents. If you’ve read my book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child, you may remember the Rule of Ten. …
One of the most popular things for parents to post in our private Reconnection Club forums is a draft of their apology letter to an estranged adult child. And while I love that our community is wise and supportive enough to offer valuable feedback on these important efforts, there’s a mistaken emphasis on apologizing as …
Do you prefer listening to reading? You can hear an audio treatment of this topic here: RC Podcast Episode 106: Estrangement and Sibling Rivalry. * * * Sibling rivalry can play a role in parent-adult child estrangement. When children are growing up, tension between siblings sometimes becomes chronic. In addition to differences in temperament, there …
How can you tell if your estranged adult child wants no contact? The answer is not always clear. Some parents receive specific requests such as, “Please don’t call, text, email or come to my home or workplace.” But many are left with either statements they can’t decipher, or no guidance at all. In this article, …
One of the worst things about being estranged from your adult child(ren), besides the terrifying uncertainty of the outcome, is feeling like you have no control over the situation. You text your child, but she doesn’t text back. You issue invitations, and there’s no response. All contact seems to be on your child’s terms, not …
Do you prefer listening to reading? Check out our audio version of this article: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 74 * * * Spouses aren’t always on the same page about what to do when their adult children become estranged. Should you take responsibility for your child’s decision? Or threaten to cut him out of your …