What’s Your Parenting Style?

Permissive, authoritarian, or authoritative?

Think for a moment about how your parents raised you. Were they permissive, authoritarian, or authoritative? Psychologist Diana Baumrind (1927-2018) observed these 3 different parenting styles and noticed distinct outcomes for children… Permissive parents view their children more or less as equals. The parent is a resource for the child to access, but doesn’t place …

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Your Circle of Control

circle of control

We all have people, circumstances and events that affect and concern us. Let’s call that group of items our “circle of concern.” Our personal circles of concern may overlap, but what concerns one person might not concern another. For example, any kind of legislation affecting mental health professionals in Colorado and Oregon will fall within …

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Why Apologize? And How to Do It Well

Well over half of all estranged adult children, according to one website, would like to receive an apology from the parents they’ve rejected. Of course, many of those parents would appreciate receiving an apology themselves. Their hearts are broken by what feels like callous disregard and disapproval from their estranging children. This creates a dilemma. …

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Reconnect With Yourself First for Best Results

Here in the U.S., we’re celebrating Independence Day this week. And while you may be thinking about your child’s “independent” decision to cut ties with you, I’d like to talk about your independence. Actually, independence is just one aspect of a developmental process called individuation, which you may have heard me talk about with regard …

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Being Best Friends Could Cause Trouble Later

If you prefer listening to reading, we have a Reconnection Club Podcast episode on this topic. Check out Episode 34: Was Your Child Your Best Friend?  *   *   * Were you and your child ever best friends? It happens a lot in single-parent families that the child gets “promoted” by circumstances to friend, partner, and …

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Emotional Estrangement

Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to an audio version of this article: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 49: Emotional Estrangement  *   *   * Parents sometimes ask me, “My child talks to me, but I don’t feel comfortable with him; are we estranged?” This article is my response. If you’re in touch with your child, …

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Why We Act Impulsively (And How Not To)

Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to an audio version of this article here: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 35  *   *   * I recently attended a 2-day training with J. Eric Gentry, an expert on trauma and grief. During the training, I found myself thinking about what Dr. Gentry called “the threat response” and how …

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Seek First to Understand

NOTE: If you prefer listening to reading, check out the Reconnection Club Podcast Episode #41, Seek First to Understand. One of the most powerful maxims in human relations theory is this pithy advice from Stephen R. Covey: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Covey himself called it “the single most important principle” in …

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