Episode 169: Normal “Narcissism”

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Is your estranged adult child a narcissist? Probably not. But they might still exhibit some narcissistic traits – just like the rest of us. In the interest of bringing compassion and understanding to the highly emotional topic of estrangement, Tina outlines the difference in this episode between “normal” narcissism and the clinical version, Narcissistic Personality …

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Episode 168. Emotional Pain: A Field Guide

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Emotional pain is part of the human condition. And it’s almost a guarantee for parents whose adult children aren’t speaking to them. Unwanted estrangement is one of the most painful things that can happen to a parent. How do you manage your emotions when your own child won’t talk to you? It might seem like …

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Episode 167: What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do

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There are many times during an estrangement from your adult child(ren) when you just don’t know what to do. Sometimes there’s a situation that seems to call for a decision – such as when a family member falls ill or passes away. Other times it’s a growing sense of frustration or despair that pushes for …

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Episode 166: Paradoxes of Estrangement (Part 2)

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Life is full of paradoxes… The busier we are, the more easily we can handle an extra task. The more we demand respect, the less respect we seem to get. The more love we give, the more we have left in our hearts. And while everyone has to deal with paradoxes in life, parents of …

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Episode 165: Paradoxes of Estrangement (Part 1)

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Life is full of paradoxes… The busier we are, the more easily we can handle an extra task. The more we demand respect, the less respect we seem to get. The more love we give, the more we have left in our hearts. And while everyone has to deal with paradoxes in life, parents of …

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Episode 164: Emotional Safety

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Safety can be physical – such as being safe inside during a storm – or emotional. In this important episode (use the player below to listen), Tina explains why “emotional safety” is more than a buzzword, and why unwillingly estranged parents benefit from understanding and embracing the concept. Emotional safety is important in close relationships. …

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Episode 163 Personal Growth vs. Parenting?

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Why is it so hard to be consistent in how you think or feel during estrangement from your adult child(ren)? Why does your heart sometimes ache for your adult child, and other times feel only frustrated and hurt? For some parents, there’s a quiet but persistent inner conflict between personal growth and repairing an estranged …

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Episode 162: Overgeneralizing and Catastrophizing

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Following on from RC Podcast Episode 160 (see episode links below), Tina tackles two more cognitive distortions, or mental mistakes, that can make an unwanted estrangement feel even worse than it already does In this equally eye-opening episode (use the player below to listen), Tina offers multiple examples of overgeneralizing and catastrophizing in the context …

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Episode 161: Getting Through Christmas

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For millions of people around the world who celebrate Christmas* – including parents unwillingly estranged from their own adult children and grandchildren – “the most wonderful time of the year” can also be one of the least wonderful times. In this special Christmas episode for parents of estranged adult children (scroll down and click on …

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Episode 160: Emotional Reasoning

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Parents of estranged adult children may feel – and believe – that estrangement is an emergency requiring immediate action on their part. It’s as though they stand to lose their adult child(ren) forever if they don’t do something about it right now. No wonder it feels like an emergency! And if those parents don’t know …

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Episode 159: The Impact of the Internet on Estrangement

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These things are true about estrangement support on the internet: 1. Many estranged adult children’s forums contain mean-spirited remarks about rejected parents. 2. Many rejected parents’ forums contain mean-spirited remarks about estranged adult children. 3. Mean-spirited remarks don’t heal the pain of estrangement on either side. True support, in the form of validation of emotion …

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Episode 158: Your Flaws Didn’t Cause This

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When your own adult child cuts you off, it can be deeply hurtful. And part of the reason for that pain is what it feels like their estrangement means. Many rejected parents believe it’s their personal flaws that prompted their adult children to create distance. They think that because they’ll never be perfect, there’s nothing …

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Episode 157: Is It Proportional?

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It’s common for parents to believe that the “punishment” of estrangement is supposed to fit the “crime” – whatever it may be – to which their adult child is holding them accountable by keeping their distance. This idea that the length or perceived severity of estrangement correlates exclusively to an injury or injuries suffered by …

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Episode 156: What to Do With Their Stuff

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What are parents supposed to do when estranged adult children leave their belongings at home? That’s a tricky question. There isn’t just one right answer that will fit for every family. When you’re storing the belongings of someone who’s not talking to you, you’re in a difficult position – both logistically and emotionally. How do …

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Episode 155: Good Grief

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Estrangement from family is a kind of ambiguous loss. But some of the losses that are often associated with estrangement are definitive. They can be grieved. For parents who are unwillingly estranged from their adult children, there are at least five potential, definitive losses they might sustain during estrangement. Tina walks listeners through them in …

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Episode 154: Nothing Happens in a Vacuum

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Some parents of estranged adult children beat themselves up for parenting “mistakes” they couldn’t possibly have avoided. Others blame their children for being difficult, ungrateful or too sensitive. What’s missing from these simplistic assignments of blame for estrangement? Context. According to Tina, context is very often overlooked to the detriment of both parents and children. …

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Episode 153: Are You Estranged From Yourself?

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Some parents experiencing estrangement from their adult children have known estrangement before. Not necessarily from other people, but within themselves. Self-alienation is a kind of internal estrangement that has become almost normal in our culture. With so much information available and so much to do, we’re not always fully present. We lose touch with ourselves …

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Episode 152: Lines of Development

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Estrangement from family, like everything else, takes place against the psychological backdrop of human development. Far from ending in adulthood, development continues throughout the lifespan, and offers hope for change in any given week, month or year of our lives. In this interesting episode, Tina takes listeners on a brief tour of the concept of …

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Episode 151: Losing Time While Estranged

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If your adult child is not responding to texts, emails or any attempts at contact, at some point you might begin to worry about the time that’s passing during estrangement. This could happen for a couple of reasons… One frightening thought is that the longer adult child(ren) are estranged, the harder it will be to …

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