Episode 83: Patience is Not Passive

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Many parents rejected by an adult child are committed to working toward a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. But they recognize that even if they work very hard and do everything right, reconciliation can take more time than they’d like. Some estranged adult children simply need more time before they’re ready to try again. They may …

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Episode 82: Playing Into an Estranged Adult Child’s “Delusions”

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What if your estranged adult child is expressing ideas that seem delusional? Should you play into those delusions? Or try to talk her out of them? You might worry that while going along with your child’s distorted thinking may soothe her somewhat, it isn’t good for her psychological health. You’re torn between preserving the relationship …

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Episode 81: “We Used to Be So Close”

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You’d be surprised how many estranged adult children come from close families. It’s a myth that parents must have been toxic and abusive for adult children to seek estrangement. Sometimes the very closeness that characterizes a family is what underlies the adult child’s need for distance. But how can that be? Aren’t close families good …

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Episode 80: “But My Child Had a Great Childhood!”

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Understanding your adult child’s reasons for estrangement can be hard, especially when there’s no communication. But it can seem downright mystifying when you look back at your child’s youth. “He had so many wonderful experiences!” you may exclaim, “We made sure he had good times and lots of opportunities.” You wonder how someone who was …

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Episode 79: How Do Adult Children View Estrangement?

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Parents want to know what adult children are thinking when they cut themselves off from family. How can they do this? Is it really okay with them? Are they happy? Research suggests answers to these questions, and Tina shares the information in this informative episode. Your child’s decisions are guided by what he knows and …

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Episode 78: Why Indulge an Estranged Adult Child?

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In addition to feeling the pain of loss of connection with an estranged adult child, you may also be aware of feelings of resentment. Particularly if you’ve spent any time in the Reconnection Club universe, you might resent the idea of having to “indulge” your adult child. Her estrangement might seem so cruel, selfish, and …

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Episode 77: Responding to Foul Language

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Estrangement from your adult child may or may not include verbal assaults from him or her, featuring foul language. If you’re faced with this kind of behavior, given the current estrangement, what’s the best way to respond? You don’t want to push your child further away. But does that mean you have to tolerate whatever …

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Episode 76: Should You Express Your Feelings to Your Estranged Adult Child?

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Do you let them know how their behavior is making you feel? Or not? Tell them just what it’s like *not* to get a reply, time after time? Or pretend you’re fine with it? When all you get from them on your birthday is a 2-word text at 11pm, should you say something? Knowing how …

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Episode 75: What Caused Your Adult Child’s Estrangement?

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Estrangement doesn’t happen on a whim. If your adult child has cut ties with you at the moment, he has reasons that make sense to him, and that are probably long-standing. In order for the estrangement to end, those reasons usually need to be addressed and neutralized. Many parents rejected by their adult children are …

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Episode 73: The Mother-Daughter Relationship

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Mothers and daughters have the potential for a very close, lifelong relationship. But not every mother-daughter pair enjoys a harmonious, supportive bond. You may have seen your friends get together with their grown daughters, and watched them with envy. Your daughter, in contrast, has become estranged. How did this happen, and why? If the mother-daughter …

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Episode 72: “Why is it always the parent’s fault?”

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“Why is it always the parent’s fault?” is a question that often comes up when rejected parents are faced with suggestions to apologize, or to try to understand and validate an estranged adult child. It’s understandable. When all the advice coming your way is to act with humility, instead of someone who deserves to receive …

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Episode 71: Three Ways Rejected Parents Give Away Their Power

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It’s common for rejected parents who are unwillingly estranged from an adult child to feel utterly powerless. And that’s a horrible feeling in the face of a breach in an important relationship. But there are three specific assumptions parents make that leave them truly powerless. These insidious assumptions are: Your child’s estrangement is entirely about …

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Episode 70: How to Find Compassion for a Rude or Angry Adult Child

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Most parents feel their estranged adult children’s pain. Part of their own anguish is the knowledge that their child isn’t happy. And there’s a saying: “You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child.” But when an adult child treats you with rudeness or anger, it’s easy to lose that compassion for them. Their behavior might …

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Episode 69: It’s OK to Enjoy Yourself During Estrangement

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It’s the festive season – always a complicated time for people experiencing estrangement from family. The holidays are full of friendship, gift-giving, celebrating and creating memories. But for parents rejected by one or more of their adult children, it can feel wrong to participate. Having a good time feels … unseemly. How can parents enjoy …

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Episode 68: You (The Rejected Parent) Are Not Powerless

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If you feel powerless in the face of your adult child’s estrangement, that’s understandable. You can’t force your child to return your texts, let alone reunite. It’s a horrible feeling, to have so little power over something so important. At the same time, powerlessness is a dangerous place to be for your mental health. Every …

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Episode 67: Why Can’t My Child Show Some Empathy?

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Your adult child, who’s always been such an empathetic soul, has now ruthlessly cut you off. How can such an empathetic person have no empathy for the parents who raised him? Doesn’t he care that he’s hurting you? It seems like an awful mystery. What’s going on? Has your child changed that much? The problem …

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