Episode 117: Heroes and Villains

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Family conflict is inherently dramatic. This is according to one dictionary that defines drama as “any situation or series of events having vivid, emotional, conflicting, or striking interest or results, e.g. the drama of a murder trial.” The dictionary might as well have used parent-adult child estrangement as an example of drama, since it entails …

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Episode 116: What Do We Owe Our Parents?

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Part of the pain of being rejected by an adult child is knowing how much, and for how long, you sacrificed energy and time to parent her or him. You did as well as you could within the given circumstances. Why can’t your adult child cut you some slack? Estrangement can uncover expectations of reciprocity …

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Episode 115: Before You Apologize

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Once they recover from the shock of realizing their adult children have become estranged, many parents are quick to apologize in order to make things right. While the desire to make amends usually comes from a good place, early apologies can miss the mark. Before you consider apologizing to an estranged adult child, first ask …

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Episode 113: Your Adult Child’s Difficult Partner

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Raise your hand if you think your estranged adult child’s spouse or partner is the main cause of the estrangement between you. If your hand is raised, you have lots of company. Parents who are unwillingly estranged from an adult child often worry that a son- or daughter-in-law has driven a wedge between them. They …

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Episode 110: Knowing vs. Doing

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If only we always did what we know we should do, instead of what we somehow end up doing despite our better judgment. When it comes to reconnecting with estranged adult children, many parents have good information to go on, and even better intentions. They know what to do, whether it be listening more, reaching …

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Episode 109: Common Obstacles, Part 2

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Over two episodes, 108 and 109, Tina touches on six obstacles that challenge parents trying to reconnect with their estranged adult children. The inspiration for this two-parter came from Tina’s work with hundreds of rejected parents. As an estrangement counselor, she kept seeing parents running into the same six obstacles: Confusion, comparison, defensiveness, paralysis, emotional …

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Episode 108: Common Obstacles, Part 1

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Over two episodes, 108 and 109, Tina touches on six obstacles that challenge parents trying to reconnect with their estranged adult children. The inspiration for this two-parter came from Tina’s work with hundreds of rejected parents. As an estrangement counselor, she kept seeing parents running into the same six obstacles: Confusion, comparison, defensiveness, paralysis, emotional …

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Episode 105: Making Necessary Changes

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To work your way back to a healthy, mutually beneficial relationship with your currently estranged adult child, there might be changes you wish to make. Something went wrong in the relationship you share. To repair your damaged bond, you may wish to show up in a different way for your adult child. Typical changes desired …

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Episode 102: Handling Accusations That Seem Baseless

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Some estranged adult children – especially more communicative ones – sooner or later approach parents with accusations of past behavior that was hurtful. A few typical examples are gaslighting, criticizing, gossiping, neglecting, and not-liking chosen partners or spouses. Sometimes parents recognize an accusation as being at least partially true. However, sometimes they’re knocked sideways. They …

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Episode 101: Estrangement From Grandchildren

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Many parents of estranged adult children are also unwillingly estranged from grandchildren. Grandchild estrangement is one of the most painful aspects of estrangement, which is a surprisingly common problem in families. In this episode, Tina shares some observations about this phenomenon, and explains why some adult children feel justified in cutting off a grandparent, even …

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Episode 99: Road Map to Reconnection, Part 3

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Episodes 97, 98 and 99 (this episode) form a 3-part series outlining an overall stepwise approach to reconnecting with your estranged adult child. It’s important to note that reconciliation can happen spontaneously. It’s safe to fully embrace all the steps in order, because your child can end the estrangement any time. So remember there’s no …

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