Imagine you and a friend are climbing a mountain together.
Your friend has just hauled himself up to the next level, and you want him to pull you up. So you say, “Give me your hand.”
If your friend extends a rope for you to grab instead of his hand, will you take it?
What if you ask for his hand and he holds out a tennis racket? Would you take that?
How about a three-legged stool?
If your goal is to get to the next level, you’ll grab on to whatever your friend offers you.
When you ask for reconciliation with your child, and all you get back is criticism, you may say to yourself, “This isn’t working.”
But if you’re receiving criticism or complaints from an estranged adult child, you’re also getting communication. And that’s a good thing. Especially in the context of estrangement.
To be open to hearing your child’s criticism is to be open to possibly the only opportunity for connection available right now.
Will you take it?
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