Dealing With Silence

When silence is all that’s coming at you, life starts to shrink.

Some days, worrying about your child is all there is. It feels wrong to go ahead and live your life, not knowing when you’ll see them again.
To stop thinking about your estranged child for a while might feel like you’re giving up hope, as though you’re accepting the loss of your child.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

I talked a little bit about this in a recent TV interview. The video — held hostage by ads, unfortunately — is here:

Let me expand on what I touched on in that interview.

Making a point of living your life despite a lack of contact makes you better able to cope with the estrangement while it lasts.
Constantly thinking about someone who’s not there won’t bring them back any sooner. Embracing other aspects of your life won’t keep them away, either.

Living your own life to the fullest NOW gives you:

  • New ideas, perspectives and insights to bring to that relationship
  • Social support
  • A stronger sense of your own identity and worth
  • Opportunities for personal growth and the development of new skills
  • Interesting stuff to tell your child about, next time you have contact

If you’re active enough, you’ll also get some endorphins going. You’ll feel better and BE better with regular physical activity.

You’ll even benefit from doing easy exercise like lawn darts, fulfilling activities like gardening, or fun stuff like the hokey-pokey.

And when you shake it all about and turn yourself around, you’ll realize: That IS what it’s all about. Not the hokey-pokey per se, but getting some movement back in your life, whether physical, mental or spiritual.

Try it, and let me know what comes up.

 *   *   *

This article was featured in our monthly newsletter. If you’re a Reconnection Club member, feel free to leave a comment in our General Discussion forum.

Not a member? You can still receive our monthly newsletter. Click here to join the mailing list.

Members have access to helpful courses, workshops, downloads and expert interviews along with our friendly, private discussion forums. Learn more about the Reconnection Club.