Newsletter Archive

This is the archive of featured newsletter articles, with the newest at the top.

Browse by topic using the categories to the right (or at the bottom of the page if you’re on your phone).

Contact

Inviting Estranged Adult Children Home For the Holidays

Now that the holiday season is here, parents are wondering whether to issue invitations to estranged adult children. In many cases, the simple answer is No. Don’t invite them home for the holidays. Allowing your adult child to make his own plans, and to take the initiative to reach out to you if he wants

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Body-mind connection

The Biology of Connection

When I started the Reconnection Club Podcast back in 2019, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I hoped the brief weekly episodes would provide rejected parents with useful information and inspiration for reconnecting with their estranged adult children. I didn’t anticipate that listeners would find it calming or soothing. But from the feedback I’ve received,

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Strategy

What to Do, When You Don’t Know What to Do

If you’ve been estranged from your adult child(ren) for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what to do next. As a parent, your heart is breaking. And your brain is constantly picking at the problem in the background (when it’s not doing that in the foreground). Whenever there’s

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Basics

Knowing vs. Doing

Do you prefer listening to reading? You can hear an audio version of this topic here: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 110: Knowing vs.  Doing Otherwise, scroll down to read the article now.  *   *   * We’ve all been there. We know that something bad will happen between ourselves and another person if we say or

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Basics

What Are You Working On?

Many Reconnection Club members are working on letters of apology to their estranged adult children. They’ve decided that an apology is appropriate, but in thinking about it, they bump into the fact that it’s not always easy to find exactly the right words. That’s why some of our members post draft apologies in our forums.

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Apologizing

Actions Speak Louder Than Words with Estranged Adult Children

In last month’s newsletter, I urged you not to be in a rush to apologize to your estranged adult child. This month’s topic builds on that idea, and provides a simple yet powerful blueprint for rejected parents. If you’ve read my book, Reconnecting With Your Estranged Adult Child, you may remember the Rule of Ten.

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Apologizing

Don’t Be in a Hurry to Apologize to an Estranged Adult Child

One of the most popular things for parents to post in our private Reconnection Club forums is a draft of their apology letter to an estranged adult child. And while I love that our community is wise and supportive enough to offer valuable feedback on these important efforts, there’s a mistaken emphasis on apologizing as

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Causes of estrangement

Sibling Rivalry and Parent-Child Estrangement

Sibling rivalry can play a role in parent-adult child estrangement. When children are growing up, tension between siblings sometimes becomes chronic. In addition to differences in temperament, there may be ongoing concerns about favoritism or perceptions of scarcity in parental attention or affection. Once a sibling relationship has become tense, parents may have to intervene

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Contact

What Does a No-Contact Request Sound Like?

How can you tell if your estranged adult child wants no contact? The answer is not always clear. Some parents receive specific requests such as, “Please don’t call, text, email or come to my home or workplace.” But many are left with either statements they can’t decipher, or no guidance at all. In this article,

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