Newsletter Archive

This is the archive of featured newsletter articles, with the newest at the top.

Browse by topic using the categories to the right (or at the bottom of the page if you’re on your phone).

Basics

7 Ways to Waste Your Time When Your Adult Child Is Estranged

If your adult child is currently estranged, how you spend your time and attention right now matters. In fact, how you spend your time today, this week, and this month may be critical in the long run for a successful, permanent reconciliation. As a therapist and estrangement consultant, I often see hurting parents unfortunately squandering

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Basics

Personal Healing: More Than a Detour for Rejected Parents

When it comes to repairing your relationship with your estranged adult child(ren), as a parent it’s important to understand one thing: You are the bedrock, the foundation and the base for that relationship. If an earthquake left your house hanging halfway off a cliff, what would you do first — shore it up from below,

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Contact

The Escalation Trap

Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to an audio treatment of this article in the form of RC Podcast Episode 123: The Escalation Trap.  *   *   * If your estranged adult child or children requested no contact, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised if they suddenly contact you. And if you’re like other parents you

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Birthdays

Make a Detailed Plan to Get Through Special Days

I’ve suggested elsewhere that every estranged parent should have a detailed plan on their special day, whether it be Mothers or Fathers Day, your birthday, the holidays, or any day when you wonder if an estranged adult child will reach out. With a special day coming up, I’ve heard parents say things like, “I’m having

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Basics

The Good Parent’s Biggest Blind Spot

You were a conscientious parent. When your child(ren) came into your life, you wanted to be the best parent you could possibly be. You told yourself, “I will never…” or “I will always…” about your parenting. If you’re like many people, one of your pledges was to do things differently. To parent in a better

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Basics

How to Get Estrangement Help Without Spending Money

More and more resources are popping up these days, offering support for people suffering from family estrangement. This is certainly a good thing; my great-grandparents had no help at all in repairing their relationship with their daughter, my grandmother — and so tragically, they never did. My mom grew up without knowing her grandparents. I

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Contact

Inviting Estranged Adult Children Home For the Holidays

Now that the holiday season is here, parents are wondering whether to issue invitations to estranged adult children. In many cases, the simple answer is No. Don’t invite them home for the holidays. Allowing your adult child to make his own plans, and to take the initiative to reach out to you if he wants

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Body-mind connection

The Biology of Connection

When I started the Reconnection Club Podcast back in 2019, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I hoped the brief weekly episodes would provide rejected parents with useful information and inspiration for reconnecting with their estranged adult children. I didn’t anticipate that listeners would find it calming or soothing. But from the feedback I’ve received,

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Strategy

What to Do, When You Don’t Know What to Do

If you’ve been estranged from your adult child(ren) for any length of time, you’ve probably experienced that uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what to do next. As a parent, your heart is breaking. And your brain is constantly picking at the problem in the background (when it’s not doing that in the foreground). Whenever there’s

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