Newsletter Archive

This is the archive of featured newsletter articles, with the newest at the top.

Browse by topic using the categories to the right (or at the bottom of the page if you’re on your phone).

Family dynamics

Being Best Friends Could Cause Trouble Later

If you prefer listening to reading, we have a Reconnection Club Podcast episode on this topic. Check out Episode 34: Was Your Child Your Best Friend?  *   *   * Were you and your child ever best friends? It happens a lot in single-parent families that the child gets “promoted” by circumstances to friend, partner, and

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Basics

Emotional Estrangement

Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to an audio version of this article: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 49: Emotional Estrangement  *   *   * Parents sometimes ask me, “My child talks to me, but I don’t feel comfortable with him; are we estranged?” This article is my response. If you’re in touch with your child,

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Body-mind connection

Why We Act Impulsively (And How Not To)

Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to an audio version of this article here: Reconnection Club Podcast Episode 35  *   *   * I recently attended a 2-day training with J. Eric Gentry, an expert on trauma and grief. During the training, I found myself thinking about what Dr. Gentry called “the threat response” and how

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Communication

Seek First to Understand

NOTE: If you prefer listening to reading, check out the Reconnection Club Podcast Episode #41, Seek First to Understand. One of the most powerful maxims in human relations theory is this pithy advice from Stephen R. Covey: “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.” Covey himself called it “the single most important principle” in

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Gifts

Healthy Giving

Healthy giving has boundaries and respects the wishes of the recipient. It can be challenging to give from a place of pure generosity, especially when you’re not at your best. Read on for examples of how to give in a healthy way this season. In last month’s newsletter, I wrote about the dangers of giving too much

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Unwanted gift
Birthdays

Thankless Giving

[Do you prefer listening to reading? This article was adapted for audio in Episode 10 of The Reconnection Club Podcast: 5 Reasons Not to Send Gifts to an Estranged Adult Child] Here in the U.S., Thanksgiving Day will soon be upon us. It’s supposed to be a time for gratitude … Yet many estranged parents,

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Let her confide in you
Strategy

Be a Confidant

What would it take for you to become your estranged child’s Number One Confidant? It might seem like a pipe dream when s/he’s not communicating with you at all, but when your child is ready to reconcile, will you be ready to step into a delightful new role? One that could secure your place in

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Predictable
Basics

Be Predictable (Except When You’re Not)

Predictability is a good quality in any parent. For parents estranged from an adult child, it’s an absolute requirement. Being a little bit unpredictable can also be good occasionally, but only when it’s strategic and creates a pleasant surprise for your child. This month’s newsletter offers specific ideas on how to use predictability to repair

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Friend or parent
Family dynamics

The Friendship Trap

Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to the Reconnection Club Podcast’s Episode 34: Was Your Child Your Best Friend? for an audio version of this article. Parents of estranged adult children sometimes tell me that before the estrangement, they enjoyed an unusual warmth and closeness with their child. In some cases, the relationship felt

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