Newsletter Archive

This is the archive of featured newsletter articles, with the newest at the top.

Browse by topic using the categories to the right (or at the bottom of the page if you’re on your phone).

Let her confide in you
Strategy

Be a Confidant

What would it take for you to become your estranged child’s Number One Confidant? It might seem like a pipe dream when s/he’s not communicating with you at all, but when your child is ready to reconcile, will you be ready to step into a delightful new role? One that could secure your place in

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Predictable
Basics

Be Predictable (Except When You’re Not)

Predictability is a good quality in any parent. For parents estranged from an adult child, it’s an absolute requirement. Being a little bit unpredictable can also be good occasionally, but only when it’s strategic and creates a pleasant surprise for your child. This month’s newsletter offers specific ideas on how to use predictability to repair

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Friend or parent
Family dynamics

The Friendship Trap

Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to the Reconnection Club Podcast’s Episode 34: Was Your Child Your Best Friend? for an audio version of this article. Parents of estranged adult children sometimes tell me that before the estrangement, they enjoyed an unusual warmth and closeness with their child. In some cases, the relationship felt

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Emotional immaturity
Communication

The Impact of Emotional Immaturity

[Do you prefer listening to reading? Listen to the Reconnection Club Podcast episode based on this article, When an Adult Child Seems Emotionally Immature.] Many parents I work with individually tell me that their estranged adult child seems young for his or her age. I hear about 30-year-olds throwing trantrums and 40-year-olds who can’t seem

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Parental alienation
Audiovisual

Parental Alienation

Fathers’ Day in the U.S. is coming up in June. If you’re a dad, make sure you give yourself a break if you feel out of sorts on your special day. In case you missed our April article, it was about how to survive holidays and special events during estrangement. We also have a podcast

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Time flies
Basics

The Press of Time

May is a month that’s full of special days: Mothers Day, graduations, birthdays, anniversaries… In case you didn’t see it, last month’s newsletter talked about dealing with special days during an estrangement from your child. This month we’ll talk about Time. It may be a heartless thief of weeks and months, but it’s also a

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Flower
Birthdays

Special Events and Holidays

Even if you don’t have a graduation or a birthday coming up, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are both looming on the horizon. In this month’s article, I’ll talk about dealing with the pain of special events and holidays without your child. What to Do? Many parents of soon-to-be college graduates are anxiously wondering what

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Silence
Dealing with silence

What Their Silence Means

You’ve probably experienced the pain and frustration of sending a thoughtful and heartfelt message to your child, only to receive no reply. Repeated exposure to this can wear you down. Some parents give up, at least temporarily, to avoid another bout of no-response. But it’s not just the silence that hurts; it’s the interpretation of

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Research
Research

Estrangement: What The Research Says

When it comes to estrangement between parents and adult children, there’s stuff we know, and stuff we don’t know. For instance, parents often ask, “Why do these kids think it’s okay to treat their parents this way?” Well, we don’t know the answer to that one. But there is some evidence to suggest that maybe

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