Episode 59: How to Survive Birthdays During Estrangement (Yours and Theirs)

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Will your estranged child send you birthday wishes this year? Should you celebrate your child’s birthday even though she’s not currently speaking to you? How can you survive not only your own birthday without them, but theirs? Estrangement doesn’t respect birthdays. In many or perhaps most cases, you’ll be disappointed if you expect your child …

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Why You Should Go For a “No” When Making Requests of an Estranged Adult Child

“Is it okay to send gifts to the grandchildren for Christmas?” “Can I at least attend your graduation?” “Would you mind if I sent a card for your birthday?” Who ever thought you’d find yourself asking questions like these, of your own adult child? How did the two of you end up here? Estrangement is …

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Mothers Day / Fathers Day Survival Guide

NOTE: Prefer listening to reading? Listen now to the Reconnection Club Podcast audio adaptation of this article. It’s Episode #36: Four Steps to a Better Mothers Day. *   *   * Mothers Day and Fathers Day are just around the corner, causing anticipation, hope and dread for estranged parents everywhere. Most of those parents won’t hear …

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Thankless Giving

Unwanted gift

[Do you prefer listening to reading? This article was adapted for audio in Episode 10 of The Reconnection Club Podcast: 5 Reasons Not to Send Gifts to an Estranged Adult Child] Here in the U.S., Thanksgiving Day will soon be upon us. It’s supposed to be a time for gratitude … Yet many estranged parents, …

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Special Events and Holidays


Even if you don’t have a graduation or a birthday coming up, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are both looming on the horizon. In this month’s article, I’ll talk about dealing with the pain of special events and holidays without your child. What to Do? Many parents of soon-to-be college graduates are anxiously wondering what …

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Birthdays and Holidays

Birthday party

Parents of estranged adult children often wonder, “I’ve been giving my child space, but now her birthday (or an important holiday) is coming up. Can I contact her?” This month we’ll addresses this common question. (Also check out the Reconnection Club Podcast, where we also discuss questions of contact, gifts, etc.) Giving Them Space “But …

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