This week’s episode begins with an assertion that neither pain nor compassion is a zero-sum commodity. Estranged adult child are in some ways wounded by the relationship they share with their parents. That’s what the research tells us. Most people who estrange themselves from parents are in pain over having to do so. Acknowledging that …
(Show notes for Episode 96 are here: When Estrangement Feels Like Abuse) Many rejected parents feel a deep sense of loss of love, connection and belonging. If you’re feeling unloved because your adult child is estranged, you may not have the luxury of waiting for her or him to offer you the warmth and affection …
Your child has cut you off, but still speaks to your spouse. Or vice versa. Maybe your child is estranged from both of you, but both parents are not on the same page about how to respond. Should the two of you act as a team, taking a single stance together vis-à-vis your child? Usually …
Mothers and daughters have the potential for a very close, lifelong relationship. But not every mother-daughter pair enjoys a harmonious, supportive bond. You may have seen your friends get together with their grown daughters, and watched them with envy. Your daughter, in contrast, has become estranged. How did this happen, and why? If the mother-daughter …
Most parents feel their estranged adult children’s pain. Part of their own anguish is the knowledge that their child isn’t happy. And there’s a saying: “You’re only as happy as your unhappiest child.” But when an adult child treats you with rudeness or anger, it’s easy to lose that compassion for them. Their behavior might …
Your adult child, who’s always been such an empathetic soul, has now ruthlessly cut you off. How can such an empathetic person have no empathy for the parents who raised him? Doesn’t he care that he’s hurting you? It seems like an awful mystery. What’s going on? Has your child changed that much? The problem …
Not every adult child who’s estranged from parents is emotionally immature. But in some cases, emotional immaturity is something that parents who wish to reconcile have to deal with. What is emotional immaturity, and what can you do about it? In this episode, Tina urges you to view emotional immaturity not as a character flaw, …
What’s the difference between estrangement from your biological child vs. an adopted child, particularly when that child is of a different race, or comes from a different country? Eli Harwood of the PASS Center in Denver, Colorado answers that question for us on today’s episode. This episode will be of interest to both adoptive and …
Rejected parents sometimes say things like, “My child has made a lot of bad choices. She’s miserable, and according to her, it’s all my fault.” In other words, the adult child is choosing to blame her parent or parents for her problems. Treating them like garbage because she feels bad about herself. Turning parents into …
While you can’t force your child to communicate with you, there are skills you can employ the next time you do have contact that will help them want to talk to you. This episode outlines three things to get good at if you want to become your child’s (or anyone else’s) favorite confidant. If you …
Parents estranged from adult children get plenty of advice from friends and relatives. And that advice tends to come in just two colors: Black and white. It’s usually pretty harsh. “Kick him to the curb.” “Cut off her tuition money, then see how long it takes her to pick up the phone.” “You’re creating a …
Catching up on a few podcasts during my daily walk this week, I came upon on a Hidden Brain episode that I immediately thought of sharing with you. Mostly I wanted to spread the uplifting message that being intentionally kind to others not only helps them, but heals us as well. In addition, there’s a touching …
The other morning on the freeway, I glanced in the rear view mirror and saw the driver directly behind me, a young woman, holding a cell phone in both hands with her wrists resting on top of the steering wheel. She was focused on the phone, presumably texting (but maybe enjoying a mobile video conference?), …